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Pacifist Hypocrite Shopping List

Christopher — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:06:00 +0000

I was out running some errands today and there were a handful of protesters at a busy intersection waving home-made signs like “honk for peace” and “no war for oil.” I laugh at the naieve banality of such idealists. First, that waving signs makes any difference, and second the sheer amount of hypocrisy it takes to bring about such a half-assed roadside protest.

Every component of that sign is made from oil. The foam core, the plastic handle, the paints, the glues: all petroleum based products. The price of any one of those doubles and you won’t see too many out of work “students” waving those signs.

The fact that the protesters’ umbrella awning was made from oil, their ice chest was made from oil, the ice in the ice chest was created using refrigerants made from oil, the plastic bottles holding the water in the ice chest were made from oil, and all the filters, hoses, gaskets, and pumps required to get the water into the bottles are made from oil.

But the hypocrisy doesn’t end there. Some of the protesters decided to have their quarterly bath on the day of the protest so their fellow wack-jobs wouldn’t gag from rancid body oil and human stink. So throw in these necessary oil derived products: shampoo, glycerin soap, hair comb, hair curlers, hair dryer, hair dye, cosmetics and lip stick, deodorant, garden hose with plastic faucet washer, hand lotion, shaving cream, toothpaste and tooth brush.

A fresh change of clothes would require the following oil derived products: man-made fibers in the cloth, dye, detergents, acid wash, politically charged silk screening, and oil saturated Birkenstock shoes with oil tanned leather glued to oil derived rubber soles. The artistically knotted ankle bracelet is also made from oil derived yarns.

Accessorize with posh mylar layered plastic housed sunglasses, plastic cell phone, plastic tongue stud, elastic wrist band and a nature tattoo, all derived from oil.

Most protesters actually choose to wear clothing during their demonstrations of stupidity, but for those who don’t, you’ll also need: sunscreen, cortisone cream for that nasty rash, four colors of body paint, solvent to wash the paint off, insect repellent, and a petroleum encapsulated Extenz dietary supplement so you don’t embarrass yourself any more than you have to.

Your retard friend will need an oil derived bicycle (the rubber tube, the rubber tire, the plastic encased wires, the greased up chain, and the entirely oil made grad student helmet) and an oil derived camera to capture the moment forever.

Oh, and don’t forget the antihistamines for your patchouli allergy, and a molded plastic first aid kit with antiseptic, aspirin, anesthetic, and rubbing alcohol for when the police rough you up…. all made from oil.

And for the socialist love-fest after-party, be sure to bring some condoms, dental dams, and personal lubricant, all brought to you through the magic of oil. After all, protest chicks put out.

Border Collie Survives 8 Story Fall

Christopher — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 08:41:00 +0000

The closest to serious injury my current herd of dogs have come was when Dublin and I were going for a walk at a park during a Frisbee competition and he bounded ahead through a tuft of high grass just off the paved trail. When he didn’t bound right back I called and he didn’t come.

As I approached the high grass I saw that only a few feet behind the wall of grass was a 5 foot drop to a small rock lined creek. Luckily Dublin was at the bottom looking up and quickly hopped off the rocks and pulled himself back up to the rim where I got his collar and yanked him all the way out. He escaped with only a scratch on his nose, but he could have easily broken his neck, spine, or a limb.

I was furious that some idiot park manager had allowed thick grass to grow to about 4 feet and hide what could be a lethal trap for pets, children, or people. The creek was so narrow that you literally had to be right on top of it to notice that the high grass on both sides had a gap in the center. From the path it looked like a simple hedge of grass that demarked an irregular grass field from one laid out for sports.

Just this week another young Border Collie bounded over what it saw as a harmless little wall and fell over 90 feet. And survived.

A team of Kuna firefighters on Friday rescued a border collie that jumped over a canyon rim wall at Dedication Point south of Kuna. The dog fell 90 feet but suffered only scrapes on her chin and a broken rear leg.

“We thought the dog’s back was broken. This dog is very lucky to escape with one broken bone,” said Dee Dee Bowring, kennel supervisor at the Idaho Humane Society. “It’s a happy ending, which is what we like.”

The 2-year-old dog has been treated with pain medications and is now resting at the Idaho Humane Society’s Veterinary Hospital. Dr. Jeff Rosenthal, the shelter’s executive director, will perform surgery on the dog’s broken leg early next week. He is doing the surgery free of charge.

Bowring and Animal Control Supervisor Morris McCall were called to the scene between noon and 1 p.m. Friday. A hiker had reported seeing a dog that had fallen over the cliff at Dedication Point, which is about 18 miles south of Kuna.

“I went just to see what I could do, if I was dealing with a live dog or a deceased dog,” McCall said.

McCall and Bowring decided to call Kuna Fire for help when he found out that the dog’s owner, Bill Rice, had hiked down the treacherously steep and rocky canyon wall to aid his dog. The dog landed on a ledge.

Rice told emergency personnel that he turned away from his dog, Shelby, to look at his grandkids and when he turned back, the dog was jumping over the 3-foot stone wall.

“I don’t know if it was trying to find out what was on the other side, or what,” McCall said. “It jumped over, and there was nothing but air.”

Rice took his grandkids home before he hiked down to try to rescue his dog.

Kuna Fire had responded to a similar accident four years ago. In fact, it was eerily similar.

“He went over at the exact same spot and landed in the same spot,” Kuna Fire Capt. Doug Newcomb said.

Miraculously, that first dog didn’t even break a bone, so Kuna firefighters were optimistic that this second canine victim might survive, Newcomb said.

Greg McPherson, a firefighter who had helped rescue the dog four years earlier, felt comfortable trying to help again.

It was a calculated risk, Newcomb said.

“If it’s going to put us in harm’s way, we’re not going to do it,” Newcomb said.

McPherson hiked down to where Rice and the dog were. He and Rice secured the dog on a backboard with duct tape, and then two men at the top of the canyon pulled the 42-pound dog up.

Witnesses said the dog was amazingly calm during the whole ordeal.

“She was licking the fireman’s face when they were down there (loading her on the backboard,” Bowring said. “She was in pain, but I think she knew they were there to help her.”

By Kate Moeller, Idaho Statesman
Photos courtesy of Dee Dee Bowring/Idaho Humane Society

Pacifist Hypocrite Shopping List

Christopher — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 06:50:00 +0000

Accessorize with posh mylar layered plastic housed sunglasses, plastic cell phone, plastic tongue stud, elastic wrist band and a nature tattoo, all derived from oil.

And for the socialist love-fest after-party, be sure to bring some condoms, dental dams, and personal lubricant, all brought to you through the magic of oil. After all, protest chicks put out.

Kids These Days

Christopher — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:56:00 +0000

I was born on the cusp of Generation X-Y, and while actors and musicians are the only people my age who have so-far managed to reach the high standard of “famous people” on wikipedia, there are a number of more infamous candidates left off that list.

In the early 1990s, the Generation before us were rebels without a cause:

They have trouble making decisions. They would rather hike in the Himalayas than climb a corporate ladder. They have few heroes, no anthems, no style to call their own. They crave entertainment, but their attention span is as short as one zap of a TV dial. They hate yuppies, hippies and druggies. They postpone marriage because they dread divorce. They sneer at Range Rovers, Rolexes and red suspenders. What they hold dear are family life, local activism, national parks, penny loafers and mountain bikes.
- Time Magazine, July 16, 1990

The article goes on to describe the GenXers in words that apply equally to GenY:

…so far they are an unsung generation, hardly recognized as a social force or even noticed much at all…By and large, the 18-to-29 group scornfully rejects the habits and values of the baby boomers, viewing that group as self-centered, fickle and impractical. While the baby boomers had a placid childhood in the 1950s, which helped inspire them to start their revolution, today’s twentysomething generation grew up in a time of drugs, divorce and economic strain. . .They feel influenced and changed by the social problems they see as their inheritance: racial strife, homelessness, AIDS, fractured families and federal deficits.

Well, GenX finally got noticed, and it seems to me that GenY’s tactics for attention involve the celebutants like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan flashing their yoo-hoos to the paparazzi after diligent drug use, sex tapes, stints in luxury rehab, collecting and then ditching exotic pets, Vegas weddings, and illegitimate children.

The other tactic my generation seems to have adopted is dropping the listlessness of GenX and picking up assault rifles. My generation has produced more than a handful of people who have made headlines for killing.

I’d venture that more than 50% of the bad news on TV these days is about people my age killing other people. The 13 “muscle” hijackers of 9/11 were all 20 to 28 years old, I was 20 at the time. The military response in Afghanistan and Iraq likewise involved masses of young adults my age fighting against terrorists, insurgents, islamo-fascists, Republican Guard, who are also my age. Half of the Chechen militant terrorists who killed 334 people in a school in Beslan were my age. Michael Vick is my age and he fights and kills dogs. The vast majority of inner-city/gang crime is perpetrated by people my age on other people my age. The warlords and trigger-men of the slaughter in places like Darfur The list goes on, and on, and on.

And it’s not just crime, studies report that Generation Y employees in the workplace are anti-social, demanding, self-centered, narcissistic, and filled with entitlement.

Is there something different or special about my age group? No. Sorry. And if you think so, you’re too old to trust, part of the establishment, the man who is keeping us down, and a craggy dinosaur who should fulfill their “duty to die” to borrow some lingo you might understand.

The old fogies who are pointing their fingers at us and hollering “kids these days” can’t seem to remember their youthful indiscretions, mostly because of all the drugs they did. They might not have Alzheimer’s yet, but they do have a big case of sometimers.

Back in the 1960s and ’70s, it was universal wisdom that the kids of that era suffered from too much coddling. Vice President Spiro Agnew blamed student unrest and other problems on “spoiled brats who never had a good spanking.” Best-selling author Norman Vincent Peale, author of “The Power of Positive Thinking,” complained about youngsters whose parents felt a duty to “satisfy their every desire.”

It’s a hoot to hear modern kids described as self-indulgent by the generation that created its own culture out of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. Talk about a sense of entitlement: When the baby boomers came along, they (we) got the voting age lowered for their benefit. They also demanded that the drinking age be lowered, and it was — only to be raised once they were safely into adulthood. Narcissism? Not for nothing were boomers dubbed the “Me Generation.”

Most of the grousing is just what every new crop of kids hears from its elders, who forget that when they were young, they were equally infuriating. People who came of age during the Great Depression and World War II are known as the “Greatest Generation,” but their parents didn’t call them that when they were going through puberty. “Bye Bye Birdie,” the musical that asked the question, “What’s the matter with kids these days?” debuted during the Eisenhower administration.

The young people we accuse of being hopelessly self-satisfied are the same ones who have been told they had to score high on the SAT, get straight A’s and cure cancer just to get into a decent college. Far from being hothouse flowers who wilt under pressure, they’ve coped with high expectations and intense competition.

This year, Harvard accepted only 9 percent of undergraduate applicants, the lowest figure in its history, down from 18 percent in 1983. The same trend is evident at other selective schools. You would think the epidemic of narcissism would translate into selfish, destructive conduct. But on most counts, today’s youngsters comport themselves more responsibly than Mom and Dad did at their age.

- Steve Chapman, National Ledger – May 20, 2007

The sentiment that kids are f’ing it all up is not new, nor novel, nor is it ever really true. Fifteen to Thirty somethings always get the blame, it’s part of being widely active yet not have control of established institutions like the media, banks, schools, and means of publishing. The older, slower, and crankier people still linger on in control of those centers of criticism.

Despite it’s dubious origin the following quote just about sums it up:

The Earth is degenerating these days. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer mind their parents, every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching.

- Assyrian Stone Tablet, c.2800BC

Well gosh, isn’t it amazing that every time a new book comes out that preaches the end of the world, it just so happens to be close enough for people to get worried about it and buy the book, but far enough out so that the book and threat is long forgotten once the end date comes and goes without notice?

P.S. You might notice that I left off the two most infamous GenY killers: Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Well, in light of the recent Church slayings in Colorado, I decided to cover them in a new post and discuss how the response to the Church slayings was different–and more effective–than the response to Columbine.