I was out running some errands today and there were a handful of protesters at a busy intersection waving home-made signs like “honk for peace” and “no war for oil.” I laugh at the naieve banality of such idealists. First, that waving signs makes any difference, and second the sheer amount of hypocrisy it takes to bring about such a half-assed roadside protest.

Every component of that sign is made from oil. The foam core, the plastic handle, the paints, the glues: all petroleum based products. The price of any one of those doubles and you won’t see too many out of work “students” waving those signs.

The fact that the protesters’ umbrella awning was made from oil, their ice chest was made from oil, the ice in the ice chest was created using refrigerants made from oil, the plastic bottles holding the water in the ice chest were made from oil, and all the filters, hoses, gaskets, and pumps required to get the water into the bottles are made from oil.

But the hypocrisy doesn’t end there. Some of the protesters decided to have their quarterly bath on the day of the protest so their fellow wack-jobs wouldn’t gag from rancid body oil and human stink. So throw in these necessary oil derived products: shampoo, glycerin soap, hair comb, hair curlers, hair dryer, hair dye, cosmetics and lip stick, deodorant, garden hose with plastic faucet washer, hand lotion, shaving cream, toothpaste and tooth brush.

A fresh change of clothes would require the following oil derived products: man-made fibers in the cloth, dye, detergents, acid wash, politically charged silk screening, and oil saturated Birkenstock shoes with oil tanned leather glued to oil derived rubber soles. The artistically knotted ankle bracelet is also made from oil derived yarns.

Accessorize with posh mylar layered plastic housed sunglasses, plastic cell phone, plastic tongue stud, elastic wrist band and a nature tattoo, all derived from oil.

Most protesters actually choose to wear clothing during their demonstrations of stupidity, but for those who don’t, you’ll also need: sunscreen, cortisone cream for that nasty rash, four colors of body paint, solvent to wash the paint off, insect repellent, and a petroleum encapsulated Extenz dietary supplement so you don’t embarrass yourself any more than you have to.

Your retard friend will need an oil derived bicycle (the rubber tube, the rubber tire, the plastic encased wires, the greased up chain, and the entirely oil made grad student helmet) and an oil derived camera to capture the moment forever.

Oh, and don’t forget the antihistamines for your patchouli allergy, and a molded plastic first aid kit with antiseptic, aspirin, anesthetic, and rubbing alcohol for when the police rough you up…. all made from oil.

And for the socialist love-fest after-party, be sure to bring some condoms, dental dams, and personal lubricant, all brought to you through the magic of oil. After all, protest chicks put out.

Every component of that sign is made from oil. The foam core, the plastic handle, the paints, the glues: all petroleum based products. The price of any one of those doubles and you won’t see too many out of work “students” waving those signs.

The fact that the protesters’ umbrella awning was made from oil, their ice chest was made from oil, the ice in the ice chest was created using refrigerants made from oil, the plastic bottles holding the water in the ice chest were made from oil, and all the filters, hoses, gaskets, and pumps required to get the water into the bottles are made from oil.

But the hypocrisy doesn’t end there. Some of the protesters decided to have their quarterly bath on the day of the protest so their fellow wack-jobs wouldn’t gag from rancid body oil and human stink. So throw in these necessary oil derived products: shampoo, glycerin soap, hair comb, hair curlers, hair dryer, hair dye, cosmetics and lip stick, deodorant, garden hose with plastic faucet washer, hand lotion, shaving cream, toothpaste and tooth brush.

A fresh change of clothes would require the following oil derived products: man-made fibers in the cloth, dye, detergents, acid wash, politically charged silk screening, and oil saturated Birkenstock shoes with oil tanned leather glued to oil derived rubber soles. The artistically knotted ankle bracelet is also made from oil derived yarns.

Accessorize with posh mylar layered plastic housed sunglasses, plastic cell phone, plastic tongue stud, elastic wrist band and a nature tattoo, all derived from oil.

Most protesters actually choose to wear clothing during their demonstrations of stupidity, but for those who don’t, you’ll also need: sunscreen, cortisone cream for that nasty rash, four colors of body paint, solvent to wash the paint off, insect repellent, and a petroleum encapsulated Extenz dietary supplement so you don’t embarrass yourself any more than you have to.

Your retard friend will need an oil derived bicycle (the rubber tube, the rubber tire, the plastic encased wires, the greased up chain, and the entirely oil made grad student helmet) and an oil derived camera to capture the moment forever.

Oh, and don’t forget the antihistamines for your patchouli allergy, and a molded plastic first aid kit with antiseptic, aspirin, anesthetic, and rubbing alcohol for when the police rough you up…. all made from oil.

And for the socialist love-fest after-party, be sure to bring some condoms, dental dams, and personal lubricant, all brought to you through the magic of oil. After all, protest chicks put out.

Few of us think of such things and even fewer prepare. Hardly anyone (less than 30%) has a Last Will and Testament, and just twice that many (about 60%) have some form of Life [should be called Death] Insurance.

I’ve pointed your attention in the direction of one such forward thinker before. Randy Pausch who is dying of terminal pancreatic cancer and whose eloquence and advice given in his last lecture are certainly worth an hour of your time. Randy is still alive, Major Randy Olmstead is not.

Professor Pausch speaks quite eloquently on how to achieve goals in life, and Major Olmstead speaks passionately about how to achieve goals in death.

His final post is worth a moment of your time and consideration.

There are too many people in the world who believe that they know best how people should live their lives, and many of them are more than willing to use force to impose those beliefs on others. A world without government simply wouldn’t last very long; as soon as it was established, strongmen would immediately spring up to establish their fiefdoms. So there is a need for government to protect the people’s rights. And one of the fundamental tools to do that is an army that can prevent outside agencies from imposing their rules on a society.

read more…

Roman advances in culture and technology were brought to the known world at the end of Roman spears, carried by one of the finest militaries in history. And the most elite group of those fighting men was the Praetorian Guard.

They were a combination of special forces and elite body guards and were reserved for the most powerful generals in the army. Julius Caesar, Mark Antony, and Octavian all enjoyed their protection, but it was Octavian (who named himself Augustus when he ascended to Emperor and God) who cleverly employed them off of the battlefield and in the political arena (most notably after Caesar was assassinated in the forum).

In our own era, where power is transfered peacefully and the last military coup on our shores lead to the founding of our Nation, you might equate the Secret Service to the Praetorian Guard. But the Secret Service clearly doesn’t play the same military role.

In a newly published book, journalist Jeremy Scahill proposes that Blackwater Worldwide, the private military contractor and security consulting firm is essentially a modern Praetorian Guard. The firm handles protection for diplomats and top officials overseas, most notably in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Like the Praetorian Guard of old, private military contractors have enjoyed liberties and immunities not given to traditional armies, which has become the focus of intense criticism recently as what some call a paramilitary mercenary group has come under fire for questionable judgment and possibly unjustified civilian casualties.

Chris Hedges picks up on the Praetorian Guard them in an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Even more disturbing is the steady rise of this modern Praetorian Guard. The Praetorian Guard in ancient Rome was a paramilitary force that defied legal constraints, made violence part of the political discourse, and eventually plunged the Roman Republic into tyranny and despotism. Despotic movements need paramilitary forces that operate outside the law, forces that sow fear among potential opponents, and are capable of physically silencing those branded by their leaders as traitors. And in the wrong hands, a Blackwater could well become that force.

Now, this is typical liberal paranoia (Hedges is a Pulitzer prize winning author who thinks that the religious right are “American Fascists”) and socialist idiocy that we’re safer if we’re unarmed and that the conservative-voting baddies with guns–especially the military–are going to overthrow democracy and create the evil American fascist empire. These people watch too many Jennifer Garner TV shows, and are the same crackpots that wrote the Mujahideen out of “Sum of All Fears” and replaced them with neo-nazis. Um yeah. Yawn.

So why am I writing about Blackwater anyway, especially when the liberal media is trying to roast them in an effort to further slander the Bush administration?

Well, because they SHOT A DOG! Bastards!

I’m fine with steroided out rambo wannabes shooting terrorists and the occasional civilian, plotting to take over the US in a paramilitary coup, and even secretive no-bid government contracts for covert operations in friendly and hostile nations. But shooting dogs is where I draw the line in the sand!

Turns out that the New York Times in Iraq is claiming that Blackwater shot their dog after their dog and a Blackwater security dog got in a fight.

BAGHDAD (Reuters) – The U.S. embassy in Iraq is investigating another deadly shooting incident involving its Blackwater bodyguards — this time of the New York Times’s dog.

Staff at the newspaper’s Baghdad bureau said Blackwater bodyguards shot Hentish dead last week before a visit by a U.S. diplomat to the Times compound.

Blackwater spokeswoman Anne Tyrrell said the dog had attacked one of Blackwater’s bomb-sniffer dogs while a security team was sweeping the compound for explosives.

Now perhaps it’s just another NYT smear job, and maybe it was warranted, but I call shenanigans!

There is most certainly some kind of cover up here, given that if there was ever an order handed down by Blackwater high command to shoot a rabid NYT attack dog, it most certainly would have resulted in someone putting a cap in Maureen Dowd’s ass.

Well, Military Mascots appears to be that group. Bonnie Buckley of Massachusetts has been coordinating the effort to send care packages to troops fostering dogs in war zones and help them arrange to bring those dogs back to the U.S. on commercial airlines since June of 2003. Bonnie isn’t supporting the wholesale transport of all stray dogs to the US to be worked into our shelter system, instead she acts as a resource for servicemen who want to bring their adopted dogs home with them when they are deployed out of a war zone.

This is an impressive undertaking as it requires volunteers to meet the dogs at international customs, re-booking on domestic flights to the final city of destination, transportation from the airport to temporary foster homes while the troops make their way back home, and finally the dog being reunited with the soldier when they or their family are able to take the dog permanently. And that’s only after the dog lands on U.S. soil, the mission to bring these dogs home begins long before.

While her organization doesn’t have the polish (professionally shot video and website) of the SPCAI’s “No Buddy Left Behind” campaign, it also has no other reason for existence, and is all volunteer. Whereas the SPCAI has that tricky clause #3 where the money you donate just might be used for another SPCAI program, it looks like all of the funds sent to Military Mascots are spent directly on dogs in war zones. It also appears that MM is helping those who help themselves by facilitating and encouraging the servicemen and their families back home to raise the money for transport, so this isn’t just a blanket donation for dogs who have to be found homes.

The reason so many of the abandoned dogs in Iraq are Border Collies is because herding dogs are one of the few exceptions to Islam’s teachings against owning dogs. I’m following up this post with a list of some of the success stories of Border Collies that have been saved from the war zone through the Military Mascots program.

One such pup is Charlie and this is his story:

One night, while on guard duty with the US Armed Forces in Iraq, Sgt. Watson’s squadron returned from patrol with a new buddy. Weak, malnourished, and at death’s door, a black and white puppy had decided to adopt the soldiers of the unit known as Charlie Company. Sgt. Watson wrapped the shivering puppy in a blanket, gave it some clean water, a portion of his own rations, and provided what refuge and comfort he could for a poor life he expected would sadly end in a few days – another innocent life cut short in a harsh and unforgiving environment.

But the puppy rallied back, thriving on the care, attention and affection of Sgt. Watson and the members of his platoon. A real survivor, the puppy was named Charlie (after the military unit) and before long the growing puppy bonded not only with Sgt. Watson but with the other soldiers.

You can see video of Sgt. Watson talking about what Charlie means to the troops and how you can help (read: donate money) to bring Charlie to America. The website is called Baghdad Pups.

SPCA International (the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) is running “Operation Baghdad Pups, “a major effort to bring U.S. soldiers’ mascots and companion animals back from Iraq.” Obviously, they want some cash to help the effort. After getting all gushy over Lucky Jack, I’m in a giving mood. I wouldn’t ask you to donate to a cause that I haven’t already donated to.

The donation website says:

Donations received for this program will be used in three ways:

1. to cover the costs associated with bringing companion animals, befriended by United States military while serving in the Middle East, to their new homes in the United States;

2. to cover transportation costs for companion animals belonging to active military personnel who need financial assistance for this purpose when they are transferred to another military base;

3. to further the mission of SPCA International to stop euthanizing adoptable and healthy animals. The outcomes of this program will be maintaining the human/animal bond and a reduction in surrendered animals.

Now, I’d prefer that my money was earmarked for #1 or #2, since technically none of the money they might collect would help the Iraqi dogs and would be spent here in the states on CEO salaries and advertising for other fund raisers. The Humane Society (not the SPCA who is doing this program) pulled a stunt like that with the Michael Vick dogs, collecting money for their care when the HSUS didn’t have anything to do with it. But this is the SPCA, so as far as I know, they have a good track record.

Kudos to the Flyball Blog and Johann the Dog for the heads up on this story.